Is this a good start to a stream of consciousness novel?
Any suggestions, ideas, or criticism is welcome. The main character, Helene an 11/12 year old girl is going to be like my alter ego, but she is going to be modeled after Helen of Troy and the plot is going to be outlined like a tale of greek mythology, but its in modern times. She is going to gain status when she gets older and will then get taken hostage by a resenful man that she doesn’t love.
It is my birthday, mother will probably bring me a cake if she gets her paycheck on time. I hope that it is a white cake, elegant and fancy like the one at Anika’s wedding. I had daydreamed the whole time during sissy’s vows. I could not help but think about the day that I would be standing in her position, with a dress that made me look much more beautiful than I really am in a church much more spectacular than the humble one she was in. But would any man want to marry me? I looked very different than the girls at school that the boys lusted after, I was not tan or tall, I was petite and pale.
I wondered what I could do to avoid math lessons tomorrow. If I could automatically know the answer, I could sit there all day and think about my plans for the future; when I would grow up and become stunningly beautiful like a supermodel and travel the world with my husband. I liked to think that someday I would become the master of everything; the girl who always had the answer, was the prettiest girl in the room, and the one with the most successful and original ideas. But I am just a child, and have such a long way to go before I become a grownup that I can’t even imagine. I wished that I had been born in a different year, so that I could have been older by now and gone through the horror of sixth grade.
I sat at the old dining room table, with its scratches and stains from all of the artwork, temper tantrums, and messy eaters it had put up with all these years. I have to do my homework, or at least put something on the paper, I don’t want to be humiliated by the teacher or I will fall into a depression and not want to continue with my daydreaming.
Sorry for the lack of paragraphs, it wouldn’t let me indent.
She can’t communicate with the man she loves and lives in exile and sees her search party on the news and everything.
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Tagged with: dining room table • ego • greek mythology • grownup • helen of troy • helene • homework • hostage • math lessons • old girl • paycheck • prettiest girl • scratches • sissy • sixth grade • stains • supermodel • temper tantrums • white cake • whole time
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I will say it’s a good start, but if I may, here are some suggestions.
- With stream of consciousness, we have to remember that we’re still writing a story. One of the fun things about reading S of. C is that it lets us feel as though we are actually inside the mind of a character. Having the character say, "I was not tan or tall" or "I wished that…" or "I don’t want" "I have to" breaks us from the thought process and it’s just like, well, a normal story with a lot of "I this" and "I that."
Consider, "Homework is terrible today. Who needs to learn this stuff? I’m pretty sure rich people don’t need to know how to write in cursive. Unless they got rich writing cursive? How do you even get rich? Ugh, my fingers hurt…I think I’m going to ask Mom for some new rings. Oh! Maybe my fingers hurt *from* my rings (that would be a good enough reason to go the doctor and get an excuse I think?) which would make a lot of sense… "
That’s just a quick example of how S of C might look. We know who’s speaking so we don’t have to use "I" all the time, ya’ know? We’re trying to immerse the reader
Good look and keep writing.
It is pretty good, you might want to try to add some more absurd and strange thoughts. In Modernist literature, there are lots of hidden desires that might seem weird (Freudian subconscious).
Since it is a young child, I guess her stream might not be as mature